Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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