id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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