my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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