my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
