To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize