I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
