he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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