The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
