i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
