new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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