so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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