Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.