Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize