but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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