her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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