I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
