If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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