please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
