He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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