Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
