i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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