we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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