Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
