Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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