Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize