I'm gonna have a badass scar
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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