I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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