I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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