I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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