Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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