thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she woke up with a sticky ear
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
