I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.