I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is