I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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