Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
