Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
