You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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