I feel like abortions should bother me more
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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