He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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