you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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