Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize