Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
