season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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