drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize