tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
