i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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