i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Green mimosas i think yes
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
