I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
