so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
MIDGETS
????
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
