i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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