please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
