Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
