I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Pants are for mortals
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