just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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