Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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