I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
