You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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