You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
