I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize