Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
