I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
