dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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