no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize