I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
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Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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