just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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